I have almost been out of prison for an entire year, I didn’t realize how institutionalized I was until I started coming out of it. I was so abrasive and overly compulsive in my routine. Some of it is bitter sweet, I miss the amount of time that I had to work on my physical and spiritual being in there and I have been neglecting it lately out here. The positive is that I am more easily able to accomplish things at work without being abrasive or seeing everything as a power struggle (especially since I am not the boss) lol. I know that I need to find a happy medium, bringing the card of Temperance into the forefront of my mind. This is tempering yourself between the things that can become assets and not over indulging to the point that any quality becomes a problem or compulsion. I need to manage my time out here as well as I did in there but without becoming impulsive or superstitious with it, I need counseling! Luckily, I have a job that affords me the luxury of health insurance that has a co-pay for counseling sessions.
My PO also told me that if I got some counseling under my belt that I would be on my toward unsupervised probation!!! That is a dream come true to not have to worry about checking into probation and being trusted enough to be the adult that I am now! He also told me that I would be able to get a provisional license from my sentencing judge so that I can legally drive to and from work, I am going to contact her today.
Every time I think I have become the best person that I can be I sell myself short and have to remember that there is always room for growth and improvement as long as I don’t limit myself and I realize my worth.