Episode 23 I Just Flew in from Prison and Boy are My Arms Tired…..

I don’t really understand normal people, I try to but I just get frustrated.  I get on FB and try to connect with people and there is always something to complain about or a topic that everyone gets in line to be offended by, is it that easy to forget that you can just opt out of reading something and it’s not necessary to “like” everything that your “friends” like?!?!?!  I am trying to remain grounded and centered outside of prison but there are a lot of shiny things that divert my attention from my goals.  Now, I’m not even sure what my goals are…….Get a job, work out, write a book, keep my word to my friends that are still down and in prison, pay my court fees and go to counseling.  Well, I guess I am sure what my goals are, I just don’t know where to start.  I got offered a job at a pillow factory sewing pillows overnight and I decided for against it, I’m gonna hold out and see if I can get a job in the daytime because I know people that work overnight do drugs and I know myself and I will beat up a tweaker real quick, I’ve seen myself do it!!!!  I keep getting into word and typing up all of my journal entries in hopes that a book will come out of it but it keeps dawning on me, who will want to read my crap?!?!?!  Uhhhhh, one day at a time and optimism is at an all time low.  I need to stop being a cry baby ass bitch and put my big girl panties on and be an adult.  A real job sounds so daunting, especially when you pair it with minimum wage WTF is that about?????  Quick money was a lot easier and makes this part of my life feel rather anti-climactic.  You want me to do what for how many dollars an hour?????? FUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good night and have a wonderful non Eddie Warrior Day,


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