This is a brand new blog that I’m writing because I feel like learned helplessness isn’t just something that happens with battered women or people that suffer ptsd, it is a continuous struggle in a society where we become intellectually lazy (as my friend Mike says). When I was in prison I had zero control, yet I felt like I had more control over my life there than I do out here. I know that it is easier in there because there is so little to worry about that we have the time to actually work on who we are. I like the person that I became because of prison yet some of the things that helped me to become that person I have stopped paying attention to. I was writing my dreams down daily, I was writing in my journal daily, I was reading a spiritual text daily, I was helping another person daily and I was happy. I haven’t written most of my friends in prison since the mailroom started catching my letters, solely out of laziness. My hustle game goes hard and I know that I could get a letter through but apparently my laziness in the outside world goes harder. SMH….
I am making it a point to write 2 of my friends in prison today, posting a blog and stop being so fucking lazy!!!!! I can’t be lazy about my happiness and my recovery because when I am I feel stagnant and stupid. The internet and facebook are so ridiculous and time consuming due to my intellectual laziness that I need t o just get rid of the ipad and stop wasting my time. I have real friends and I need to branch out. This is my public accountability to manage my life before it becomes unmanageable.