I know that I haven’t posted a blog in awhile and that is partially due to personal struggle with reintegration and partially to working full time at Dillard’s.
It’s amazing to be able to do so much to better myself after release but I’m still reminiscent of the times I had in prison. What I wouldn’t give to play spades with Amy, Currie and Rachel or walk the oval with Selina or go to step aerobics with cry baby ass Krystle. I realize it’s the people and experiences that I miss and not actually the prison itself and I know that going back there wouldn’t necessarily recreate the friends and experiences that I had. Since I know that living in anything but the present isn’t real, why am I so hung up on it? Why do I feel like it’s the answer when I can’t cope out here? Maybe it’s structure and like minded people that I need and not a fenced in institution. Feeling like I belong in the real world is something that I’m still working on. I don’t know if I will ever fully feel accepted in it but I do know I can’t let my friends and family down and go back.
My solution is to try harder at getting a support group together for people just out of prison trying to cope with the real world.
Good night and have a wonderful NON Eddie Warrior day!!!!!