Episode 46 Overwhelmed By Attachment


When I was in prison I had the time to become detached from a lot of the issues that arise as an American female.  I was able to quiet outside noise so that I could listen to myself and find my center.  The longer that I’m out the less centered I feel and the less in touch with myself that I feel.  My biggest fear is that this will go on too long and I will be unable to re-center myself and all “aha moments” will be lost because of the attachment I have to habit-forming situations.  I already find myself overwhelmed by jealousy and resentment and those are two things I was completely free from for a long time.  Those 2 emotions are heavy and I know that they cloud my judgement and create conflict in my relationships with family and friends.  I keep saying that I will mediate and that I will work out but I continually put it off for more time on social media staring blankly at my phone screen.  Why is it so difficult to do things that I know will make me feel better instead of doing mindless activities that feign detachment but in reality compound the issues I have regarding jealousy and attachment???  I am aware that I need to fix these issues within myself before I pull away from people and shut myself down, I know that I do not want to lose the progress that I have made and I am worth saving.  Once my schedule is back to 8-5 it will be easier to make a time to work out, I just need to journal and hold on until then and remember that resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.  It’s unnecessary and only hurts me!!

One comment

  1. Chris · October 5

    I love you baby


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