It is way different out here and I am feeling uneasy about my future. I got out Thursday and it is now Saturday, boy is it not what I pictured! Everyone I know is still in prison, I don’t know why I thought I would have all this support when I got out of prison but I did. I left behind everyone that can relate to me back at EWCC, NEOCC and Jess Dunn. I can’t expect people that don’t know where I have been to be able to tell me where I am going. I came back into the streets like a dog off a yard and it’s over stimulation and zero structure, I don’t know what to do with my hands! Or my mind for that matter, I need a purpose. I woke up today after feeling sorry for myself yesterday and decided to go and run a quarter mile and then walk another quarter mile, that was at 7:21am so fast forward to 7:29am where I am saying “Shit!!! What now?!!?? So I decided to put on the music that I worked out to in prison (Lil Wayne, Rich Homie Quan etc.), shit I didn’t listen to before going into the penitentiary. I worked out for almost an hour and a half and now it is 10am and I am at a loss again. I have to find a group of people that want to do things that I enjoy (working out, philosophy, physics, music and have also been recently released from prison) Ummm……its a tad specific….
My main mother fucker should be out in October or November and hopefully we can go hard into some sobriety together because if I am not working on my recovery I am relapsing. Good night and have a wonderful Non-Eddie Warrior Day
with respect and love,